Sometimes Sydney Still Gets Jealous

Like any child getting a younger sibling, some kids adjust fairly well while others have jealousy issues that are enough to cause concern.  Even if a child is doing well with the adjustment to a baby, they might still get jealous, even if it's not causing any major problems.

The same thing happens with Sydney sometimes.  I truly do believe that most of the time she's adjusting well to the baby and really does love her.  She has seemed to accept her as a member of the family by now and wants to be just as much of a companion and family member to her as she is to us.  However, I still see bouts of jealousy in her, even if she's not being mean or anything like that.

We have a neighbor named Sofia, whom Sydney absolutely loves!  Any time that Sofia comes over to say Hello when Sydney is outside, she gives her a lot of attention.  Sydney gets really excited when she sees her! 

Sofia also loves to see Taylor...

When Sofia pays attention to Taylor, Sydney will jump up at Sofia as if she's reminding her, "Hey, Sofia!  I'm down here, ya know!"  Sofia will laugh it off and tell Sydney that she knows she's being jealous and she loves her, too, and will pet Sydney as she tells her.

I have also seen Sydney get a little upset when Matt's parents are paying attention to Taylor for too long.  "Too long" usually means more than a couple of minutes.  His parents, however, have gotten adjusted to making sure that they are paying attention to both "grandchildren."  So, one will usually hold Taylor while the other holds Sydney.  At some point, they'll switch.  So, she won't have to be quite as jealous after a while.

Sydney might have a harder time with my parents.  It's not that they don't love her.  They do, but they believe older philosophies when it comes to having a dog around a baby.  Also, they don't necessarily believe as much in making a dog their "grandchild."  They believe it's silly.  I know that they're entitled to their own opinions about the dog being a "grandchild," but it bothers me in a way since she's still so important to us - with or without baby. My parents dogsat for us a couple of weekends ago, and Sydney was the little princess dog then, but not when the baby is around.

They also tend to be more panicky of the dog coming near the baby, so usually Matt and I are picking up the slack on paying attention to Sydney when my parents are around since their interest is primarily with the baby.  We certainly don't want Sydney to associate any of our parents' visits with the baby as being a bad experience... this is how resentment of a new baby is created to begin with.  If someone shoos the dog away from the baby, the dog will no longer feel welcome.  There's gotta be a better way of "shooing" her away from the baby if it makes them that uncomfortable without actually "shooing" her.  I'd suggest having her play with a toy as a distraction.

It's hard to explain this to my parents without them ridiculing us and telling us that she's "only a dog."  I do believe that when my younger sisters are around with Mom and Dad, they make it an easier visit for Sydney by playing with her while my parents play with the baby.  The girls will get their turn with the baby, but until then, they'll enjoy Sydney's company.  I'd write a blog on how to keep peace with the parents/in-laws and the dog with the new baby, but I'm still working on dealing with this issue myself.

In our class at Animal Friends, we were told to keep peace by just using a gate to keep the dog in another room away from the baby and, in our case, my parents.  However, I don't think Sydney should have to be put away in another room just because my parents are here.  I might have to test that theory someday and see if it works.  More about this will follow in another post sometime when I learn more about it and try it with Sydney and my parents.  There's just gotta be a better way.

Matt and I really try to make sure that Sydney is not ignored.  Sometimes life with a new baby really does get hectic and requires a lot of attention goes to the baby.  But we both always make a point to give Syd a pat on the head and even say to her, "Gee, Taylor is really fussy today, isn't she?"  I know that Sydney can't respond back, "Yes, she certainly is fussy today," but the point is for Sydney to know that even when things get crazy with the baby, we haven't forgotten about her.

One thing I try to do when Taylor has been fussy and has been a little high maintenance attention-wise is make sure that when she goes down for a nap, that's Sydney time.  If I need a nap myself, I invite Sydney up on the couch to nap with me.  If I'm not sleepy, I'll get a toy and play with her.  Either way, Sydney knows that I'm still here for her.

I also try to "involve" Sydney in some baby care.  I'll let her follow me into the baby's room for diaper changes.  "C'mon, Syd, let's go change Taylor's diaper!" or follow me out to the kitchen when I say, "Let's get Taylor a bottle!"  True, she's not actually changing the diaper or getting a bottle ready, but she still likes to go along, even if for a minute or until she gets bored with it.  By being "involved," it can cut down on jealousy. This same concept of being involved can also apply to a baby's older siblings (human ones, that is).

So, despite all of our efforts to make Sydney a well-adjusted doggy to having a baby in the house, sometimes a little jealousy is unavoidable.  You just have to find a way to deal with it and reassure your dog that he or she is still loved.